Some things I've learnt:

-you can't negotiate other people's feelings. accept and move on and treat them with respect. they are who they are
-you can't expect people will grow at the same rate as you. some people will never realise things you picked up a long time ago. you might never pick things up that many others tried to point out to you either.
-you can't just fall in love and expect a relationship to work. you need to constantly create love.

i've been trying to remain positive and make wonderful things happen for me and for others. share happiness, explore, enjoy life and love. i'm working with the idea that if i belt through consternation i'm going to eventually find joy within any situation and i'll keep people around who share that joy.

i really want people to not be afraid and to embrace all. good, bad, whatever. i want people to feel things.

i don't want to be the 'look at me' or being all self absorbed person (as i can be alot of times) - i really want to connect and give.

choice is awesome.

'there is no change that might ever transpire in time and space that happens before you're fully able to use it for your own growth and glory. may as well act like you had requested it, and soar. Because, truthfully, you did, and, honestly, you can.' - the universe

There are many people that are going to move you, inspire you, make you feel like nobody else did - not just one person. That is because there are so many people with so much to offer, if you open your eyes to it. I don't want to love inside of a bubble. My goal in life is to embrace and accept everything. Appreciate people and REALLY experience them. However, you can be with one person and still do this, you just need to learn how to. Hurting people by being deceitful or spreading the wrong love around with others is being hurtful to yourself. You need to have limits. If you're in a relationship, you reserve a certain love and energy for the one you've chosen to be with. But still smile at others and tell them of your dreams.

You can tell yourself anything. That you are happy. That you're safe, appreciated and loved. It is only when you choose to believe yourself that it becomes you and not just wishful thinking.

You can call anything a relationship but they are just a bunch of letters that form a mindless word. The encounter defines itself. I learnt that using mindless words in my encounter was only going to hinder the progression of it. And it is progressing, regardless of whether it is moving towards a goal I imagined or one that exists outside of my lame attempts to lace it with the complications of 'what it should be' based on assumptions.

I don't wish to place any deadlines on my masterpiece. It just is.. A challenging, inspiring and interesting experience.

wow.

today i told someone that nobody has ever recorded sharks mating before. their response was

"maybe sharks are really aliens and they mate in spaceships and then dive into the ocean when nobody's looking"

and it blew my mind.

Some base identities on contacts passing through from offshore
Putting their pictures through their albums, dropping names to build rapport
I could play familiar game, feed you more lies to keep you lifted
But I ride with habit of perspective even if your tone gets shifted
While many live on their knees a small percentage search for truth
Leave with their heads hung in shame, it’s rotted like an alcoholic’s tooth
Being a pawn on the board is restricting in position
But you can make it past challenging pieces if you only look or listen
Swallow your tongue and choke or roll it out and send some noise
Learn yourself and look for light cos’ negativity destroys
I won’t become tangled in a web, living life through a TV
Can’t identify with that world, Big Brother isn’t watching me

I sit and picture a world where time becomes abolished
See confusion without routine, many minds are malnourished
Approached by a man with a bible, rifled with words he couldn’t define
So sparked he could hear the trickle of Jesus turning water into wine
Saw a woman beaming with satisfaction she could not conceal
Felt upper hand on a man digging through the trash for a meal
open minds, closed doors and society is still complex
display papers of marriage so we’re deemed as having sacred sex
Many a slave to a wage they’re chasing dreams and robbing chances
To walk their journey without make up ‘cos they’re chasing pay advances
The mourning process for a parent’s death now resembles roulette
Where children are players waiting for a ball to rest, land them with assets
With money comes power, but power should be heeding warning
Cos your Mercedes will not save you from the affects of global warming

art

I want to live a life that is one of love, creation and connection and I am working on just that.

I often wash what I have painted away and start with a blank canvas. With every new painting, I find I am learning to blend colours more suitably, my brush becomes lighter in my hand and I get closer to being content with the picture itself. With that said, I never forget the effort I made, the previous pictures I washed off and the formulas I used to get those certain colours – I cannot exist fruitfully at the level I am currently on without always maintaining all of the levels contained below me. Sometimes I will use a colour that didn't gel or my hand will slip. Such is my life, forever refurbishing myself and 'the picture'. What an incredible journey.

On a momentous day, a blessed woman gave birth
Testimony that God had vast plans for the earth
He is an inspiring book laced with striking expression
A man whose spirit is vibrant, his presence aids progression
His intellect is freed quietly with each composed breath
But it’s said that calm waters tend to have the most depth
Something magic about the way he doesn't care for applause
Or that he is unaware he holds such beautiful flaws
In a world of fraudulent schemes and ill-mannered games
I’m refreshed to find a friend that thinks within the same frame
Eyes that speak the truth and energy intense like martial art
A man with strength of mind, character and a remarkable heart
Stunned by the power he sends at a speed light didn't know existed
Gaze and get caught in the blaze, of the heaven that keeps me lifted.

choice

My ambition is to love without narcissistic presumptions that distort my vision of those I love or my feelings for them. To allow people the freedom to be and think offbeat to me without making demands. I need nobody to make me feel whole because I am whole. Love expands beyond the limits of two people and there is a beautiful world and much to see outside of the bubble. By putting too much into something and expecting something back, I am missing out on other wonderful things. Missing out on creating and sharing and experiencing beautiful things, be that with myself or others.

I am ready to depart from the womb which I have shaped for myself and become comfortable in. Time to give birth to myself and cut that umbilical cord that I am attached to that feeds me. It’s time to learn to use my mouth to eat. To become aware, to learn, to see a new world and learn to touch things in a way that is not judgemental.

To love and be alive is to not cling. The contentment naturally derived from love is not based on constantly calling for something. If we are too fixed on our ‘needs’, we are denying ourselves the ability to truly love.

Believing that someone/something is all you need to make you happy is guaranteed to keep your mind incarcerated. Always feeling anxious and as though I owe something and that something is owed to me is going to prevent me from accessing truth.

I choose to be the roots beneath the tree buried into the cool earth. To assist in the growth of the tree without feeling the need to come up and shout that I am there.

I choose to let go of belief that I’ve fashioned that disrupts the raw process of love and encourages me to feel as though I cannot be content without certain objects/people.

When we see through trepidation, the conclusion is love. When we see without our judgement and yearning, the result is pleasure and the calm delight of being.

It's all about being me and loving me. Everything around me will fall into it's place.

Some classify freedom as ability to fly
But even birds cannot roam out of the sky
And although I am stuck inside what we call earth
You shine through my being, assisting rebirth
You decipher the lyrics of passionate songs
In which the words beautiful freak do belong
I cannot make you love me, but know I’m legit
I’ll be queen in your castle if that’s what you permit
Your beauty shifts planets that dwell inside me
So astounding that you’d never give loving for free
You’re the breakfast that helps me survive a long day
The sun, universe, stars, tomorrow and today
Floating through air, you’re untouched by my love
And you may never grab it but it’s nice to dream of
You inspire me to reach higher then I could have guessed
Know that without your impact I’d not be so blessed
I will not plead with Gods I know don’t exist
But I’ll walk beside you as you’ll let me, sky greeting my fist

WHAT I GOT

There are many approaches one can take to assist in overcoming negative feelings and beliefs that cause constant shame, procrastination due to fear, trust issues and a lack of peace of mind.

Sometimes just talking about things or yelling when it all gets too much isn't the best way to get to the root of 'issues'/'problems'/ideas that you may want to resolve/create with people. I think exercises where you really sit and nutt things out and work at things and get to be creative in doing so, is a a great way to untangle yourself from restrictive emotional traps that needlessly deprive you of having fruitful encounters with self and with others that encircle you. Also, documenting thoughts/progress that you can refer back to, is a great way to help reinforce important details that we often overlook in what we like to call 'the heat of the moment.'

Communication, achieved in a positive and creative manner, can aid in the issue of consistent confusion, arguments and negative energy that stems directly from not having a clear understanding of situations/feelings/whatever.
You can tear those bits of annoying weed that grow between cracks in brick pavements out by your hands, but unless you pull the brick up and shovel the weed out by it's roots, it's going to keep growing back, and you're going to have to keep bending over and tearing it out.

Some shy away from 'problems' because they feel their hurt is too far past being able to be 'fixed'. In Lord of The Rings, Frodo Baggins chose to sail to the Undying Lands to finally find the peace and healing he sought from wounds he couldn't recover from. The difference in his story was that he was rewarded with the opportunity to do because of his selflessness. Frodo (with help of the fellowship) didn't give up and they collectively conquered and even if the wounds couldn't heal for him and he had to leave The Shire, great things were achieved and the outcome for all was beautiful. If you don't try with every fibre of your being on a journey, you cannot claim that there is no resolution. An emotionally mature individual will constantly seek options. Many situations are tough but if you've only played one level, you can't say you aren't able to finish the game. It's as simple as that.

With that said, if you are involved in encounters with people that refuse to take bold steps and decide they can't finish a game, even if they haven't played every level until the final stage (whatever that may be) or even sought codes (remember, this is just your opinion of them though), letting them be is the best option.

You cannot negotiate other people's feelings.

It is up to an individual to accept that their life/beliefs/emotions are their responsibility. Allow those around you to make decisions without manipulation. You can stand by but constantly making excuses on your part, forcing your beliefs upon someone and speaking mindless words without taking action for your own life will only further project fear into the heart of the person you care for. Promises, constantly trying to reason, saying I love you... It's meaningless. Don't speak - be.

Life isn't always filled with blue skies and clarity, but happy relationships can be attained. And those relationships start with US. In order to work on our external relationships, we must first know what we want and feel comfortable loving ourselves. It is natural for us as humans to make mistakes (yes, even more than once or twice!) but mistakes do not necessarily mean the end - Period. By changing yourself, you change your encounters with others and their actions and feelings.

I'm somewhat wayward, with a lot of work to do on myself but I have a clear understanding of how things could be achieved - if someone doesn't agree with my way of doing things, then I'm open to further exploration based on their ideas... call it meeting halfway. It's hard to get rid of fear and trust people but it's a brilliant and beautiful quest with potentially groundbreaking outcomes.

Life is a cycle and we can make it as enjoyable or painful as we choose. Embracing new ideas, opening our hearts and minds and dropping the 'i can't' will stamp out fear and enable us to love without words, promises and negativity. To see things as they are without complication.

It is in your perception where everything lies.. Be that a perversion of truth, or where something is situated.You can alter this and play around with it as much as you feel like.

Have fun and trust yourself!

girls girls girls

Pibs: it annoys me that even now with this pseudo feminism and female equality, the subconscious expectation is still for the man to do all the work, chase, contact etc. Its like with animals, the male birds have the beautiful plumage and crest, the females are all plain looking, but its the man who has to stand on a tree and sing for 3 months straight so eventually one of these plain boring bird girls look his way. What gives them the right?! they're plain and they don't do shit

Me: who the hell would want to spend all their time on a tree singing, just hoping someone might come next to them and sing in unison?

Pibs: exactly, birds are stupid.

inward universe

people speak of love and light
we wake in the morning, sleep at night
use cardboard boxes to move things
and claim that angels possess wings
there's good and bad, music and books
smiles, winks and 'dirty looks'
we assign names for everything
the rich and poor, a queen and king
we drive in cars that carry loads
believe respect is shared or owed

we live in houses, work for money
believe in Jesus and the Easter bunny
some are colour blind and some see red
some are alive and some are dead
some shoot white powder into veins
some live in china, some in Spain
the grass is green, the sky is blue
there is him and her, me and you
we have favourites, faith and deception
all this presented to us by our perception

all are objects that dwell in our mind
we construct them, they're our design
swim within, discover all you unfurl
is inside us, we are the world.

i used to live in france

In our past life we rode bikes in France, somewhere in the east
In this life I harpooned you, now you’re a wounded beast
Remember when we learnt to fly as one? The soul in me did sing
Now I wake to holes and blood from where you shred my wings

we can’t see eye to eye but I will rise up on my toes
if you bend your knees a little, while still standing tall
we can’t see eye to eye but I will climb your mountains
if you aid my fingers and catch me if I fall

You are my prison and I’m serving a life sentence
ego clashes with truth, you reject my repentance
You think I’ll forget your hands and how your mouth tastes
Regenerate my smile once you are misplaced
You drive my climate and weather, like force from the sun
I could never deny the truth; you’re my only home run

we can’t see eye to eye but I will rise up on my toes
if you bend your knees a little, while still standing tall
we can’t see eye to eye but I will climb your mind’s mountains
if you aid my fingers and catch me when I fall

i hold you all the while, there's nowhere I’d rather be
you can't stay and shrink away, we're like the sand and sea
the soundtrack of our lives together plays on repeat
but your entertainment system broke and your song only plays deceit
I’m the furthest that I’ve ever roamed without a thinking cap
I can’t recall how to get home; it’s you who read the maps

With love as foundation and hearts raging with fire
We can confront every life and never expire
You say you can’t revolutionize, BUT IT’S WHAT YOU ALLOW
Let me rip pain from its core with you, so we can live from now

words

i was blessed to meet a friend that helped me learn of truth and love. someone that helped me discover bits of self i couldn't previously access. every conversation we had was raw, and we loved and expressed ourselves with no expectation or judgment. their words are infinite. among many other things, they once told me the following and i carry it every day and smile:

"Megan, tell me the most painful story of yours, as you do bid peace to itnone of that shit owns you"

here are a bunch of words that make my brain smile:

"It might feel good
It might sound a lil' something
But fuck the game
If it ain't sayin' nothing"
-He Got Game by Public Enemy

"Yes I know my enemies. They're the teachers who taught me to fight me.
Compromise, conformity, assimilation, submission
Ignorance, hypocrisy, brutality, the elite"
-Know Your Enemy by Rage Against The Machine

"According to Aristophanes in Plato's The Banquet, in the ancient world of legend there were three types of people.
In ancient times people weren't simply male or female, but one of three types : male/male, male/female or female/female. In other words, each person was made out of the components of two people. Everyone was happy with this arrangement and never really gave it much thought. But then God took a knife and cut everyone in half, right down the middle. So after that the world was divided just into male and female, the upshot being that people spend their time running around trying to locate their missing half."
-Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami

"Life is only a dream and we are the imagination of ourselves."
-Bill Hicks

"Here's to the few who forgive what you do, and the fewer who don't even care."
- Leonard Cohen

"From now on, I'll connect the dots my own way."
-Bill Watterson

“There’s only one instant, and it’s right now, and it’s eternity.”
-Waking Life

"It seems that different people have an idea of what I am, and what I should be. And then there's me."
-Ani DiFranco

"All I can do is be me, whoever that is."
-Bob Dylan

"Only those who attempt the absurd will achieve the impossible. I think it's in my basement... let me go upstairs and check."
-M.C. Escher

"You can choose to say, "Good Morning God" or "Good God, morning!"
-First in Flight by Blackalicious

"Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens.
-J.R.R. Tolkien

"I know where I'm going and I know the truth, and I don't have to be what you want me to be. I'm free to be what I want."
-Muhammad Ali


There are many Albert Einstein quotes I love.. Here is one of my favourites:

"My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind."

little by little, one travels far

i don't want to belong in any one circle ...i figure if i spread love and light with all that encircles me while remaining open, then i can be a link that joins many circles together.

No psychic is going to tell you of your future (and any that says they are capable of doing so is telling you fibs - things that have already happened though, is a different story but who wants to talk about the past all the time anyway?) - nobody knows the future with the exception of characters in THE TERMINATOR and although I know I wish that movie was the truth, it's not.

Basically, only you know of your future and you find information about your future out by just LIVING IN THE NOW. It will flow if you don't focus on where you're going to be in a few years time - just get there and don't put too much into it. While I'm on the topic of NOW, you aren't going to be able to progress to the NOW if you spend all of your time trying to rewrite the past.
So, to find out if you're going to get that job or get married to a goat and have a bunch of kids, LIVE and find out. Ladies, Gentlemen and hermaphrodites alike, I proudly present you:

NOW




Enjoy!

my cat rupert

he's pretty wonderful..

q-tip

There once was a girl who was fearful of people hurting her feelings. I guess many people are scared of being hurt but some deal with it in ways that eventually damage what really means the most to them, for instance, 'hurting people before they can get hurt'. It's a silly way to think about things although sometimes it takes a while for people to learn that there are wonderful ways of building fruitful relationships and realising the song in their own heart without making a huge mess and hurting those you love.

Anyhow, back to the girl. She figured if she could put up a tough disguise she would be impervious to emotional pain. A wonderful man fell in love with this girl and made her a mix CD. She liked the mix CD...It had lovely romantic songs with pretty lyrics that spoke of the things that enable butterflies to develop colour.
Although she thought it was sweet, she didn't really 'hear' the lyrics.

You see there is a difference between listening to something and really hearing it.

This girl acted foolishly, not caring about the wonderful man or his own feelings, sleeping on life and writing the same terrible stories for many years, eventually losing the wonderful man because of her foolish actions. It wasn't until she realised that she got more out of being emotionally open, honest and faithful to her love that she decided to start cleaning her ears daily so she could pay attention to and hear important messages properly.(ones that could assist in making the relationships she had better)
Now she could truly hear those beautiful songs and what the man meant by sharing those songs with her. Although the man was no longer a part of her life in the way that she would have hoped, she did learn a valuable lesson.

Clean your ears everyday! Get rid of the gunk that is in the way of the truth and don't only listen to muffled noises but clearly HEAR messages....


...The wonderful thing is that it isn't ever to late to clean your ears out. (it also feels really good!)

the quick reference guide for rabbits

The Zoobombs are spikey creatures that travel to earth occasionally from a planet known as Energus.
Energus is a located near Bloplove and is nowhere near that boring town that Less Than Jake wrote a song about for their third major album Hello Rockview, which was released on October 6, 1998.

The correct scientific name for a Zoobomb is Zoopis Plabop. Zoobombs are scattered Northsouth of Energus and possess magical powers. They enter from Energus via a station disguised on Earth as an electrical company.

Three spikes of their 210 spikes act as plugs which they insert into each other to share colour shades, energy, a selection of pictures and a set of words. Once the transfer is complete and they are loaded with exciting information to share, they take human form because everybody knows humans would consider killing and inspecting any special creature that didn't not share their features. They then organise dates to share these wonderful things and perform live energy shows.

If you look closely during these shows you will see that it is not only the Zoobombs that display their true colours. What a delight it is for the humans to accept these transmissions! The human's spikes come out to receive information also and they turn into every shade of colour that could possibly exist. What a beautiful sight it is.

I can only imagine how wonderful the world would be if like the Zoobombs, we always realised that we all had special stories and energy to share with each other that could improve our lives and minds despite differences that are only physical during the most boring parts of the day. (When we sleep, we are no longer human but colourful patterns!)

When energy is involved, we all have spikes and magical powers.